did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
