We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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