Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize