Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
