i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
