guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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