my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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