I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
