I didn't shave. On purpose
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
