I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You're earring is so big in my mouth
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize