he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
