I wanna bring you to show and tell
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
