Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
