your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
