Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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