well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
