went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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