I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
