Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize