Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
