oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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