the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
