i think i have herpe
just one?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
