Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
