Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
