i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
