Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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