you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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