He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Four minutes until I can fart!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
