Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize