I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
