is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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