the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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