it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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