It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
