I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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