you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
