so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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