somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
