Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
