Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
