I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He better not be in your backpack
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
