No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
