So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will pee on everything he values.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
