I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
