i just wanna soil my oats bro
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
