News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
