I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
