You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
