Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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