Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
too bad you live with your parents still
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
