Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is Oprah even human
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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