Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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