to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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