i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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