dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
