How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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