No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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