you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
there is glitter all over my balls
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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