I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need moral support for this bender
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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