its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
